Meeting my Birth Mother for the 1st time!

Talk about the most surreal moments of my life! I was overwhelmed with emotion, thoughts and feelings racing through my body and mind. I waited my entire life for this moment I had built up so many different scenarios in my mind. Like a movie I wondered is she rich? Does she look just like me? What if she has cancer? Will she even recognize me? The list goes on... I had my bag packed and my GPS was set, I hugged my MOTHER Nancy and feel to the ground. I wanted to meet this woman so bad but fear set in. Doubt about how this would change my life in a negative way, and how the mother that raised me really felt about me doing this? Was a ripping her heart out, what I being disrespectful and ungrateful? I was so torn my mom Nancy said its OK I want you to know, I want you to find closure and all the answers you have searched for your entire life. She was the most amazing mother ever and I reassured her that she was my mom not this woman that gave birth to me! We hugged and tears poured then she told me to go before I changed my mind. I got in my car headed to Belton Texas 4 hours away from home. To a woman house that I didn't know to set eyes on the woman that gave me life and decided to give me a better life with great people. I can even begin to explain the drive, there are no words to express the feelings, thoughts etc. I started having a anxiety attack when I saw the first sign that said 20 miles till Belton! I texted her when I exited the highway and was only 5 minutes away. I turned into a residential neighborhood the houses were nice, kids were outside playing and I looked to my right and saw the house with the garage door open and over 15 people standing around. I stopped the car shaking in fear and jacked up on excitement! I saw a blonde woman, tall like basketball player tall walking to the car. Her hands were over her face and I could see the river flowing from her eyes. I got out and headed in her direction. She grabbed me and held me so tight, it happened so fast I didn't get a good look at her face. We stood there with strangers watching clapping, crying taking pictures. These were not really strangers they were my birth family, but to me they were strangers. She stopped hugging me and pulled me back wiped her eyes and said your too pretty to be my daughter. Are we sure you are the right one? LOL I took a good look at her and knew 120% this was my blood, we looked just alike. I was passed around to people hugs, story's, pictures etc. It was very weird! I felt alone with strangers, and missed my mother Nancy and my house. I took some of my baby pictures and showed Lisa my birth mother. It got a little easier after everyone left and Lisa and I were alone. We would sit there no words and just stare at each other. I didn't know what to say to her and she didn't know what to say to me. She just kept saying how sorry she was, and I kept trying to explain how much respect I had for her. That I was thankful for the life I had and the parents she chose. I had no complaints.

Will return tomorrow with more. I hope anyone reading this comments or lets me know if this Blog is helpful in anyway.

Holly Moore